Dare to be different

Some people (particularly from Indo, I must regretfully admit) are just not used to being divergent in terms of opinion. It is normal for two persons in a physical meeting to be poles apart in an issue. This is fine because they can sort out the difference straight on the spot.

Alas, in a virtual meeting done via email trade, there's a good chance of A's question being not answered by B or anyone else and it is simply ignored like it was never asked at all. I can't understand the logic behind this. If silence is meant to be 'yes', it might still be acceptable. But when B is unresponsive to A's statement because B disagreed with it, why not voice it out? Why dare not be different? Is it, perhaps, due to sungkan? (sungkan = an Indonesian adjective --allegedly originating from Javanese culture-- where someone appears bashful to the extent of timorous in the face of words or action of someone else)

Regardless of the motive, not only is it unethical to pay no heed to someone's opinion, it does actually lead the whole team attending the meeting to an uncertain position as to what the final decision of the topic being discussed would be. As one put it very well, discussion without conclusion is confusion. I can't agree more with it. (EJ)

Truth & Relationship

Those who are courageous enough to confront should also be courageous enough to forgive and/or ask for forgiveness. What matters is that the truth has been said and set. Afterwards why not let life move on naturally like the water braves through the rocks and continues flowing on. Sadly, though, those with the courage to cope with confronting or being confronted are not generous or sincere enough with forgiveness, and some others are even worse being gutless to confront any way. And the corollary of that is they are not prepared to forgive or offer forgiveness. (EJ)

How Time Heals "Time heals," people often say. This is not true when it means that we will eventually forget the wounds inflicted on us and be able to live on as if nothing happened. That is not really healing; it is simply ignoring reality. But when the expression "time heals" means that faithfulness in a difficult relationship can lead us to a deeper understanding of the ways we have hurt each other, then there is much truth in it. "Time heals" implies not passively waiting but actively working with our pain and trusting in the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation.

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